It’s uncomfortable If making love hurts then it is only natural to
avoid it. Vaginal dryness is one of the most common causes and a real
problem for many women who are going through, or have been through the
menopause. Lack of oestrogen thins the tissues in and around
the
vagina, reduces lubrication and can make sex very uncomfortable (dyspareunia).
Fortunately this responds well to using extra lubrication
(such as KY
Jelly) and the application of oestrogen creams or pessaries (a type of
local HRT that doesn’t carry the risks associated with
the
conventional form).
Endometriosis, where the lining of the uterus extends out of
the womb into the pelvis, is a common cause of
dyspareunia in younger
women.
Telltale signs include deep discomfort on making love and
heavy painful periods. Treatment depends on the
severity but
milder cases can often be helped by the Pill.
Back pain and arthritis also interfere with sex life, but few share
concerns with doctors. Fortunately there is advice from websites such
as
www.rheumatoid.org.uk
and
www.arc.org.uk.
Headache may be a clichéd excuse but some types can be triggered by
sexual activity — the best known being orgasmic cephalalgia, a
sudden
onset headache that often occurs at the point of orgasm and which
affects as many as one in 100 people. Treatment involves using
migraine drugs such as propranolol.
I’m not in the mood Poor libido in men and women is nearly always a
symptom of an underlying problem rather than a
medical condition.
Common causes range from depression and
changes associated with the menopause, to being too tired to bother
and/or not fancying your
partner any more. And that’s assuming that
you have a “problem”. Sex drive only becomes an issue when it doesn’t
match that of your
partner. Wanting to make love once a month may be
normal for some couples, but will lead to tension in others if one
partner wants to do it
more often.
Although hormones are often the first thing that springs to mind in
older women, relationship problems are far more common. Many people
simply don’t find their partner sexually attractive any more — a point
ably demonstrated by the behaviour seen in those having an affair. The
same woman who dreads her husband’s touch can be an insatiable tiger
in her lover’s bedroom.
Men tend to have higher sex drives, so it’s little surprise that most
of the women I see complaining of low libido are there only because
their
partners think there’s a problem. A surprising number admit to
being happy with the status quo.
In younger women on the Pill, loss of sex drive can result from its
mix of hormones, a problem that can often be helped by switching to
another brand.
I can’t manage it Viagra celebrates its 11th birthday this month.
Although once controversial, the little blue pill is now part of the
establishment and has transformed the sex lives of millions of men. It
has also de-stigmatised erectile dysfunction (ED) making it much
easier
for men to admit that they have a problem maintaining n
erection — as around half of all of those over 40 do at some time.
Nearly every
man can now be helped, but men have to pluck up the
courage to ask.
It pays to mention ED to your doctor as it is often a sign of
underlying problems such as
diabetes or
high blood pressure which, left
untreated, can lead to early
stroke and heart attack.
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